Our 7 Step Process
This step is all about setting you up for success which includes teaching you the new daily habits and practices you must adopt — in order to prime your mind to learn these new principles, new rules, new skillsets, and new mindsets you must embody to get the results you want. It’s not enough to know something intellectually. For transformation to occur in any area of your life, you have to know something in your bones — which only comes from repetitive, daily practice.
You can’t hit a target you can’t see. This part of work is about your values, goals, and life-dreams – as well as your partner’s. First off, do you even have these? Does your partner? Have you discussed these things? Have you written them down? Have you ever even pondered them in the first place? Do they match up? Are they in alignment with one another? These are all things we explore. Most people don’t really know what values, goals, and life-dreams truly are…and it holds a lot of people hostage, like a ship at sea with no rudder or direction, floating aimlessly and never really getting where they want to get as individuals or as a couple. This is about creating your masterpiece vision for not only your marriage but your way of life.
We all have our baggage and issues from childhood that hold us back and keep us in our old narratives, and keep us feeling “stuck” in different areas of our lives. This step is about waking up to what we call: “your own flavor of dysfunction.” Again, everyone has one and you are no exception to this rule. Our early-childhood programming, traumas, neglect, and abuse (which comes in several different forms) shapes us into the adolescents and eventually the adults we become and there’s no escaping that. It’s not our fault that we are the way we are, but it is our responsibility to wake up to the truth of who we’ve been showing up as, take 100% ownership of our lives, heal ourselves, and learn the skills and tools we need to learn to reprogram our subconscious paradigms and beliefs that keep us held hostage in limited thinking, dysfunction, toxicity, inadequacy, and fear. Like I always say: “Transformation in any area of your life can never take place until TRUTH is inserted into the equation.” Hence, the famous term: “The truth will set you free. It will piss you off, and then it will set you free.” This has definitely been our personal experience and the experience of our clients through the years.
This step is our favorite because when we started to learn about: the powers of the subconscious and conscious mind, how they function, the law of attraction – and the actual science behind how it really works, the law of mind, how to re-program our limiting beliefs at the subconscious level, our way of thinking, and the power of focus…holy wow! As we began to apply what we were learning daily – our marriage, our self-concepts, our business, and our lives began to shift in beautiful ways (sometimes uncomfortable ways) as a result. Change is uncomfortable, but we’ve learned to make being uncomfortable our new normal because until you get this part, you will continue to self-sabotage – even given your best efforts. Because we can never outperform our self-image/subconscious identity and this was the missing piece and hidden key to unlocking our own healing and limitless potential.
5. THE TOOLS
These are the new tools and the new rules of the modern-day marriage. This is your toolbox of the 21 tools for the 21st century egalitarian marriage, which are the skills and strategies we use in our own marriage, and mentor our clients to use in their marriages as well. The old model and the old rules of marriage are broken and don’t work because we live in a completely different time than our parents and grandparents. It’s time to empower yourself, your partner, and your kids with what actually works today. These are skills and strategies that we weren’t taught growing up because they weren’t modeled for us, they definitely are not taught in traditional marriage counseling, and not taught to us in school. And don’t take our word for it, just take a look around at our staggering 50-75% divorce rates, mediocre and miserable marriages. It’s everywhere. QUESTIONS FOR YOU TO DEEPLY CONSIDER AND PONDER: If you don’t learn these skills, how would you ever be able to implement them? And if you don’t implement them, how will you ever have the marriage you want? Because the truth is this: Before you can ever be great at something, you have to be good at it. And before you were good at it, you had to be bad at it. And before you were bad at it, you had to make a DECISION to do something in the first place. The great news for you is, you can learn this stuff because if we can, anyone can.
Reclaiming the passion in a marriage that has been deeply wounded, where trust has been eroded or has completely disappeared, where resentments have built over a number of years, and/or have become passionless for a number of reasons that could be at play – can seem impossible. But we are here to tell you that it’s completely possible. Passion is a very different thing than love and is cultivated from a very different place than where love is cultivated from. This module is all about understanding how passion works, exactly how to cultivate it, and how to reclaim it in your marriage. And we promise…it’s NOT what you think.
None of us can do this life alone. We are hard-wired as humans for connection. We all need support and to think otherwise is self-sabotage and self-deception. We need a tribe. We need positive reinforcements and we need encouragement. We need people in our corner always pulling for us, rooting us on – who believe in us, and pushing us to do, Be, and have better! We can’t stress the importance and the value of this ENOUGH!! Who we are around, who we are learning from, and who we are listening to matters the most. So this module is about how to set up your support system, how to know when it is time to get help and mentorship, and how to create healthy boundaries and limits with yourself and the people in your life.